Stand In The Rain
by InspireRebelLoveTravelLiveKnow
Summary: I slowly ran the blade across my skin again, not wincing. The pain had resigned itself to numbness. I just sighed at the relief. A songfic of 'Stand In The Rain' by, Superchick. Better description inside! Annabelle Jones is Madeline Williams.


A songfic-

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><p>Song: 'Stand In The Rain' by, Superchick.<p>

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><p>Main Character(s): Fem!Canada (Madeline Williams); Fem!America (Annabelle Jones)<p>

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><p>Other Character(s): Austria (Roderich); Italy (Feliciano); China (Yao); Mrs. Williams-Jones (MadelineAnnabelle's Mother)

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><p>Special thanks to: England. Couldn't have done it without you introducing the song… (NightCore version, of course.)<p>

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><p>Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or 'Stand In The Rain'.<p>

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><p>Authors note: I love this song, and I mixed America and Canada. They are one person. He older brother is abusive. Her mother does not love her. Her father is rarely home. She only finds love in her friends.<p>

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><p>She never slows down.<br>She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone,

Feels like it's all coming down.

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><p>I slowly ran the blade across my skin again, not wincing. The pain had resigned itself to numbness. I just sighed at the relief. The relief of finally being let out of my own self. I'd been doing this for a long time now. Not many people knew. Only a few of my close friends…<p>

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><p>She won't turn around<br>the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear,

The tears will not stop raining down.

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><p>I sat with my back against the wall, the cuts on my torso stinging slightly at the need to be cleaned. So I pulled myself up, blinking away tears that had been being shed for months now. I stepped into the shower to wash off the dried blood. It stung. But once again I went numb, letting myself be cleansed by the steaming water that rained out of the showerhead. I went over the previous night in my head. The screaming of my mother. 'YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE A DECENT DAUGHTER, ARE YOU, MADELINE?' running up into the bathroom, lifting my shirt to reveal the scars that criss-crossed on my rib area. Grasping the blade in my hand, and pulling it across my skin, letting myself free once more. It was Friday night. I fell asleep in the bathroom. The blood had dried, and now, I had to take a shower to wash it away. No doubt that there will be questions from my older brother. But I will ignore them. He will forget in time.<p>

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><p>So stand in the rain<br>Stand your ground  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<p>

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><p>I exit the shower, rubbing my fresh cuts down lightly, and covering them with a light bandage. I tie my hair up in a towel, and change into a fresh set of clothes, then pull on my red hoodie. I miss the family that had gifted me with it. Where had they gone? They had reduced to mere devils, the good in them had been eaten by the bad… I slung my bag over my shoulder and exited the house quietly, knowing that I would be able to meet up with someone soon. It was raining. The cold drops fell on my face, refreshing me. it made me think. What am I going to do in my life? Where do I see myself in 15 years? 30? Nowhere. Dead, maybe.<p>

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><p>You stand through the pain<br>you won't drown  
>and one day, what's lost can be found<br>you stand in the rain

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><p>I walk silently down the street. I sidestep the puddles, not wanting to see my own reflection in them. I prepare to fake happy as usual. I have become very good at it, I suppose. I continue down the street, thinking about whom to call. All I needed was to hear someone's voice. This comes over me a lot. I must think about whom I really need at the moment. often, I will choose Feliciano. He seems to be able to spread happiness to anyone with the slightest ease. Today, though, I didn't want to call him. I called Roderich, instead. He answered quietly, most possibly questioning why I was calling in his head. But it was soothing. He stayed calm. We laughed a few times. It was nice.<p>

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><p>She won't make a sound<br>Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering

if she stands she'll fall down.

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><p>I finally find a place where I can be happy alone. I have made it to a quiet forest, where I often reside to be alone. I sit against a tree trunk, letting my legs relax. I remain silent, listening to the rain descend carelessly on the ground, and the leaves above. It is February, yet it hasn't snowed heavily since before December. I enjoy snow. It is beautiful, when not messed with. I think about myself. How people would benefit from me not being here. In this world. I recall times when I have attempted to end my life. I need someone to talk to. I call Feliciano. He answers happily. We end up going over the script to the school play. I often feel awkward in rehearsal. I am the student director. But this is expected. I am a loud person to them. I am happy. I am animated, and energetic, I am vibrant and hyper. I do not enjoy faking my life. But I feel as if I must. I do not want people to know who do not know me very well. To them, I am Annabelle Jones. Not Madeline Williams. I do not know why my mother calls me Madeline. But I use it for myself sometimes. It is my true self. But my true self will often battle with my other self. They do not like each other. One demands much attention, which makes the other more depressed. More forgotten. Alone. Madeline is often alone. She doesn't like much attention. Annabelle demands as much attention possible. I don't know how to please both, and please the world, as well.<p>

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><p>She wants to be found<br>the only way out is through everything she's running from

wants to give up and lie down.

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><p>I sit against this tree silently. I daydream about showing the world what Madeline Williams is truly about. Who she is. I daydream about giving up Annabelle Jones, and what the world would be like. Not very good. To do this, I would have to erase majority of my happy memories. Maybe even all of them. The true percent, I do not know. This is why I have often contemplated killing myself. Of letting the world I know go, and discovering the place that I feel I truly belong.<p>

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><p>So stand in the rain<br>Stand your ground  
>Stand up when it's all crashing down<br>You stand through the pain  
>You won't drown<br>And one day, what's lost can be found  
>You stand in the rain<p>

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><p>I will not kill myself. I will remain alive for those who I love. For my close friends. For Roderich, who keeps me calm. For Feliciano, who is alike to a brother for me. For Yao, who keeps me going everyday. But most of all, for Annabelle Jones and Madeline Williams. Both of which deserve to live happy lives that I plan to provide. Once I make it through this stage in life. One day, it will be done. I pray to a good that I do not believe in that the day comes soon. For now, I will work through it the best I can. I will do this for the sake of believing in my true self. I will live my dreams someday.<p>

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><p>Please Read and Review. Thank you.<p> 


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